i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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