Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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