im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
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Vodka?
Forever.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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