So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
