I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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