So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
zippers are such a cool invention
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
