He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
