So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
