just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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