when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize