So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Help. Why am I so naked?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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