I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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