Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
