Will you blow on my dice?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
