Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
time to smoke my breakfast
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
