We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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