never play flip cup with pint glasses
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
