i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
