Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my shit smells like andre
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
