You made me cry and you don't even care
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Randomize
