my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
