I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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