you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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