Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
