ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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