I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
