Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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