so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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