I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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