the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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