I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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