He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Pooping to opera.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
