I just cut my nipple shaving
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
