i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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