no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
