i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
