I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
