We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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