Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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