I can't watch pbs sober anymore
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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