We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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