You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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