toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
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There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
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Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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