so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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