lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
