we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize