You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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