Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
