Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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