im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
