i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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