Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend