OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night