JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?