Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
