This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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