I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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