Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
