just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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