There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
