i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
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You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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