just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
