Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
